2/ Timing

Another thing I’ve learned very quickly is the critical importance of timing. 

With the self discipline of a zealous, medieval monk I now measure out my hours.  Diligently sticking to a set schedule of meals and medication.  

Before diagnosis and starting subsequent treatment I could have chosen to have breakfast, or not; have brunch, or lunch as late as I liked; fast, or feast, or munch in between.  But now my diurnal round begins at dawn, or thereabouts , and rolls on  inexorably through regular meals and prescribed dosages to dusk and bedtime.  At sunrise the following day, it begins again as unstoppable as the spinning of the globe and the turning of the stars

This new consciousness of time has brought a sense of inevitability to my life.  Before diagnosis, I could quip blithely about the random possibility of being run over by a bus as I crossed a road but without really thinking twice about the actual fragility of human existence.  There was an order to my life through obligations of work and family even so I could choose still to alter my schedule according to circumstance, take risks, bend the rules – a bit, at least.

Post diagnosis all uncertainty has been swept aside. I hang on to dear life as the moments gallop away.

© Benóg Brady Bates

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